At the Crossroads of Life

"You see... when the man stepped on a single butterfly during his travel back in time, little did he realize that it would cause a cascading effect that would change his present..."

Yup, that was a post-exam story my chubby form teacher, Mr. Chan, told the class when we were ten. It was a mesmerizing tale and he always had a knack for dramatizing these stories so well.

As a teenager, I rarely had the priviledge of sound advice when making big decisions. At that age, it never dawned upon me that those decisions would cause a cascading effect and impact the rest of my life.

You see, the world changes so fast that it has become something vastly different from that of our ageing parents that they sometimes take a hands off approach towards "bigger decisions" in our lives. Yes, they may fret about what you wear, what you eat and what time you are supposed to sleep, but these are little things that are sometimes insignificant in the long term.

Decisions about friends, about education, about life and... about love. All made with advice from similarly confused peers, surrounding influences and through mere gut feeling.

I was quite a high achiever back then. But here's the conundrum - teens have so much knowledge and information made available to them, but those who lack guidance do not have the necessary framework or methodology to digest these information and make smart, well-informed decisions.

All we needed was advice. All we needed was advice. All we needed was advice.

From Tamim Al-Dari RA:
Prophet SAW said: "Religion is nasihah (advice)." We said: "To whom?" The Prophet said: "To Allah and His Book, and His messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Muslim]

We can read from several hadith narrations how the young companions of the prophet would approach him and say, "Advise me, oh Rasulullah..."

And not having the comfort of an understanding mentor during the transitional teenage years is a common experience too many of us go through... making decisions that we may regret later in life...


At the Crossroads of Life

We face many crossroads in life. Sometimes, the decision to initiate change is not as easy as it seems. There have been times when certain factors seem to conspire to prevent that change from occuring.

Yes, we may plan, but verily Allah is the Best of Planners.

“They plot and plan, and Allah too plans; but the Best of Planners is Allah” [ Surah al-Anfal, verse 30 ]

And we husnu dzon (think positively) towards what Allah has in store for us.

"With God is the Decision, in the past and in the Future..." [ Surah ar-Rum, Verse 4 ]

From Suhaib RA:
Prophet SAW said: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows patience, there is a good for him in it." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Muslim]

Teenagers are not the only ones who are in the transitional period of their lives. From time to time, we face periods of transitions that we have difficulties assimilating ourselves into - studying overseas, changing jobs, death of kith or kin, etc...

One of the most prevalent form of transition among youths is in embracing hidayah. A sudden surge of God-given Islamic awareness causes a whole lot of introspection and fuels the passion for change.

Why do we need to change? Why can't things just remain the same?

"...Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change it themselves..." [ Surah ar-Ra'd, Verse 11 ]

People in a crisis of change usually feel isolated. The urge to change brings forth overwhelming guilt if one continues to suppress it and continue to live in denial. And, sadly, some do in the end choose to stay the same, preferring the comfort of familiarity over the pursuit of a better goal, a more pristine destination.

In fact, change is beautiful. The struggle of change is a joy to behold for those who understand. Like watching the leaves turning a magnificent hue of red and orange when it changes to autumn...

They say life's a journey, not a destination. That's not true.

The purpose of life is for the ultimate destination to meet our Creator. Yes, our journeys may differ, but let us come to the same path before time expires, for our destinations are all the same.

"Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

" Should your path be the same as mine,
Take my hand... let's walk the straight line,
But should your path still veer and bend,
Go in Peace, my friend... "

May Allah guide us all...

Of Roles, Responsibilities & Relationships

"But teacher, you are the best English teacher we ever had..."

I bit my lip and gave a weak smile. News leaked out that I was resigning. Two of my best female students came to me separately to say the exact same thing; as if scripted. I have a soft spot for these kids...

"It doesn't matter. They are so used to teachers coming and going," I tried to rationalize.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean they are not hurt. Most of them just don't show it," an ustadz said as he sat me down for a chat.

I eventually retracted that resignation and stayed for another year. My rational being stood defeated...

Roles in Life

I am the youngest son to my beloved mum & dad, the mischievous little brother to my dear siblings, the typically average employee in my company, the ever-smiling teacher to my students, the nice Malay boy to my Chinese neighbours, the rather reclusive friend to my acquaintances, the ever-forgetful student of the religion and most importantly the servant of Allah.

We play many roles in life, wear many hats. Every role has its level of priority and requires a bit of attention from time to time. But sometimes, we lose that sense of priority. Which one is more important than the other?

Most of us also do not have a sense of purpose of what we want to achieve in these roles. Why do we play these roles? Are some roles really worth all the trouble and turmoil?

Maybe we should end some roles to focus on the others...

You see, roles in life are of two - inherited and acquired. My role as a son and brother is not something I can walk away from. Unfortunately, many times, these inherent roles are the ones that becomes the most neglected.

"And we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents. With difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and wean him for two years. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents; to Me is your final goal." [ Surah Luqman, verse 14 ]

On the other hand, acquired roles are those we may decide not to assume or to relinquish at our own discretion. This is where the understanding of the Islamic concept of fardhu kifayah and the importance of giving amanah to the ones who are best-equipped applies.

"Then ask those who possess the Message (Ahl adh-Dhikr) if you do not know." [ Surah al-Anbiyaa', verse 7 ]

From 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
"I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it. A servant is the guardian of his master's belongings and is responsible for them.' I thought that he also said, 'A man is the guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]

Unfortunately, the Muslim society has a bad habit of using square pegs in round holes. Many, who are not qualified, wantonly assume roles that they barely deserve.

From Hudhaifa:
(At the end of times) People would be carrying out their trade but hardly will there be a trustworthy person. [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]

However, sometimes it is not a matter of mere qualification, it is about fulfilling a fardhu kifayah that no one else wishes to fulfil. A few times, I have been undeservedly appointed in key leadership positions which had caused much pressure and discomfort. The latest in the list of these key positions will end on the 1st of June.

And soon also, I will relinquish my role as a friend. "Why would someone with a wealth of friends need another...?" said my rational being...

" Life - you have yours and I have mine,
At certain moments they intertwine,
Through the Will of the Divine. "