Of Roles, Responsibilities & Relationships
"But teacher, you are the best English teacher we ever had..."
I bit my lip and gave a weak smile. News leaked out that I was resigning. Two of my best female students came to me separately to say the exact same thing; as if scripted. I have a soft spot for these kids...
"It doesn't matter. They are so used to teachers coming and going," I tried to rationalize.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean they are not hurt. Most of them just don't show it," an ustadz said as he sat me down for a chat.
I eventually retracted that resignation and stayed for another year. My rational being stood defeated...
Roles in Life
I am the youngest son to my beloved mum & dad, the mischievous little brother to my dear siblings, the typically average employee in my company, the ever-smiling teacher to my students, the nice Malay boy to my Chinese neighbours, the rather reclusive friend to my acquaintances, the ever-forgetful student of the religion and most importantly the servant of Allah.
We play many roles in life, wear many hats. Every role has its level of priority and requires a bit of attention from time to time. But sometimes, we lose that sense of priority. Which one is more important than the other?
Most of us also do not have a sense of purpose of what we want to achieve in these roles. Why do we play these roles? Are some roles really worth all the trouble and turmoil?
Maybe we should end some roles to focus on the others...
You see, roles in life are of two - inherited and acquired. My role as a son and brother is not something I can walk away from. Unfortunately, many times, these inherent roles are the ones that becomes the most neglected.
"And we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents. With difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and wean him for two years. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents; to Me is your final goal." [ Surah Luqman, verse 14 ]
On the other hand, acquired roles are those we may decide not to assume or to relinquish at our own discretion. This is where the understanding of the Islamic concept of fardhu kifayah and the importance of giving amanah to the ones who are best-equipped applies.
"Then ask those who possess the Message (Ahl adh-Dhikr) if you do not know." [ Surah al-Anbiyaa', verse 7 ]
From 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
"I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it. A servant is the guardian of his master's belongings and is responsible for them.' I thought that he also said, 'A man is the guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]
Unfortunately, the Muslim society has a bad habit of using square pegs in round holes. Many, who are not qualified, wantonly assume roles that they barely deserve.
From Hudhaifa:
(At the end of times) People would be carrying out their trade but hardly will there be a trustworthy person. [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]
However, sometimes it is not a matter of mere qualification, it is about fulfilling a fardhu kifayah that no one else wishes to fulfil. A few times, I have been undeservedly appointed in key leadership positions which had caused much pressure and discomfort. The latest in the list of these key positions will end on the 1st of June.
And soon also, I will relinquish my role as a friend. "Why would someone with a wealth of friends need another...?" said my rational being...
Maybe we should end some roles to focus on the others...
You see, roles in life are of two - inherited and acquired. My role as a son and brother is not something I can walk away from. Unfortunately, many times, these inherent roles are the ones that becomes the most neglected.
"And we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents. With difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and wean him for two years. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents; to Me is your final goal." [ Surah Luqman, verse 14 ]
On the other hand, acquired roles are those we may decide not to assume or to relinquish at our own discretion. This is where the understanding of the Islamic concept of fardhu kifayah and the importance of giving amanah to the ones who are best-equipped applies.
"Then ask those who possess the Message (Ahl adh-Dhikr) if you do not know." [ Surah al-Anbiyaa', verse 7 ]
From 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
"I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it. A servant is the guardian of his master's belongings and is responsible for them.' I thought that he also said, 'A man is the guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]
Unfortunately, the Muslim society has a bad habit of using square pegs in round holes. Many, who are not qualified, wantonly assume roles that they barely deserve.
From Hudhaifa:
(At the end of times) People would be carrying out their trade but hardly will there be a trustworthy person. [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]
However, sometimes it is not a matter of mere qualification, it is about fulfilling a fardhu kifayah that no one else wishes to fulfil. A few times, I have been undeservedly appointed in key leadership positions which had caused much pressure and discomfort. The latest in the list of these key positions will end on the 1st of June.
And soon also, I will relinquish my role as a friend. "Why would someone with a wealth of friends need another...?" said my rational being...
" Life - you have yours and I have mine,
At certain moments they intertwine,
Through the Will of the Divine. "
At certain moments they intertwine,
Through the Will of the Divine. "
